SAFE’s Grandparents Raising Grandchildren group is one of only two in the area helping transgenerational caregivers find community, seek support, gather advice, and share resources.
Held the 2nd and 4th Thursday of each month at Bernon Branch YMCA in Franklin, with free childcare for children up to 8 years of age, the group provides a safe and supportive environment for relative caregivers. The group offers Zoom attendance as well.
Led by Laurie Brown, who in addition to her work with SAFE also brings experience and resource knowledge from her work as a Family Partner for Adult Clinical Care Services at Riverside Community Care, serves on the advisory board of the Commission for Grandparents Raising Grandchildren, and builds on her own lived experience raising her granddaughter.
Brown says the challenges facing grandparents raising young children are immediate and intense. “For me, it was an overnight jump into action. Rescue the child, do what you can do, and figure out as you go,” Brown says. “I all of a sudden had a 7-month-old baby, a diaper bag, my fulltime job, and my daughter’s issues to navigate on top. It was a lot, and no one around me had any idea how to help.”
Because the group is comprised and led by peers, it is uniquely positioned to offer a quiet break from the immediacy and urgency that comes with jumping in to care for a grandchild. "There is no roadmap," says Laurie. "Our sacrifice often doesn’t cross our minds when we jump into action. We want to give the children safety, self esteem, opportunities, security, peace, a sense of family and unconditional love only a grandparent can give. We want them to thrive and be okay."
This is where a targeted support group comes in. Meeting twice a month, group members discuss, among other things, common logistical issues like legal support, guardianship, different financial resources, DCF, school enrollment, daycare, and more.
They also address the ever-changing issues that come with having an adult child going through substance use, mental health issues, homelessness, court, or jailtime. “When you assume custody, you don’t know if it will be for 3 months, a year, or a lifetime," says Brown.
And there are the accompanying emotions to unpack as well—for your own life change, for your adult child and their struggle, and for your grandchild. “People sometimes walk into their first meeting like a deer in headlights. Emotionally drained, financially drained, no idea where to go,” says Brown. “We don’t have answers for everything, but we do have empathy and compassion. We can listen and offer our connections and support.”
For many, the connections forged in this support group sustain them through extraordinary highs and lows. Brown remembers a grandparent who once called to say she wouldn’t be coming due to the passing of her child from overdose. “Right away, she called back to say 'Actually, I am coming. That’s exactly where I need to be.’”
Ultimately, what knits this group together is not just tragedy, but powerful, unbreakable love. “It’s always different. Outcomes are always different,” says Brown. “But the one thing we have in common is love and joy, because we have these grandkids in our lives, and these rescue missions we’re undertaking bring us together."
For Brown, that sense of community is one of most critical forms of support a group can offer. “When you’re in it, sometimes you can’t even think straight. If you can go somewhere where someone can help you calm down, listen, and help connect you, you will be alright,” she says. “I connect them with what I know. But most of all we listen and help people know they’re not alone.”
To learn more about Grandparents Raising Grandchildren or receive the Zoom login, visit our website or contact info@safecoalitionma.org.